Replacing Morals With Manners
THE GREAT FRAUD: REPLACING MORALS WITH MANNERS
Many people are clever enough to carve a relatively high position for themselves in the society by combining two skills with their concomitant tactics, namely, conspiratorial and behavioural.
Conspiratorial skills are born skills and distinguishes people with it from those without it as the genes of a fox distinguishes it from a wolf which is pure violence and almost nothing else. A good conspiratorial character knows what to observe and note in a complex of opportunities and risks, how to wait how long without being idle but preparing for the mostly inevitable opportunities to achieve his aim. In the meantime he knows how and does pay lip- and even-purse service to popular causes and their leaders all the time watching for a slip or a reckless exposure of the jugular on the part of an envied rival or opponent. When that right moment comes the born master conspirator is ready- he just jumps from his place and bite on the jugular and next is the feast.
But this conspiratorial enterprise will get him nowhere if he is not also very skilled in projecting extremely sweet and endearing manners. I shall give you an example from my life. On summer holidays from my university as a first year student I was returning home on board of a ship. There were dozens on students on board like me but a particular old man insinuated himself to me to become my best friend throughout the journey. He was protesting great love for me and offering me teas and snacks as he also was having. A mere 18 and totally optimistic about life I did not give a second thought to what he was actually after if that was not a good thing. Hours before our arrival at the port of destination he asked me shyly and endearingly whether I could take over a rolled-up quilt which he said he was taking to her daughter as a wedding gift, the wedding being a few days away. So much grateful to him, I obliged. I passed the customs uneventfully and met my parents waiting for me. The old man himself soon showed up and asked for his quilt which I handed over. However I noted that he was no more as friendly but too business-like. At the time I could not explain it until my parents criticised me for putting myself in danger on account of a known criminal. They informed me that the man was a habitual smuggler of illegal things I did know what and becoming notorious with the authorities he was recently using mules like me to cheat the customs. I never knew what was inside the quilt but I just remembered this episode as a direct experience in my life how crooks use manners like protestations of love and sympathy and offerings of generosity to exploit any naives in the pursuit of their unholy aims.
Many people are so ambitious that their minds work like a radar combing, on the one hand, opportunities for the realisation of their aims and, on the other, people to exploit in the process. They are aware that all- love, friendship, admiration, approval, generosity... all can be faked and hearts won. If there is a class which are most known for such abilities and tactics it is the politician class followed by big time salesman including salesmen of religions and cults. Not that charming manners in themselves are bad- on the contrary they are the best and most blessing things to have, provided the aims are holy and honourable. Successful crooks are simply those fraudsters who steal these good manners and put them to evil use, that is all.
In general terms, the sad thing about faked good manners is their adoption by some of the most dangerous people. All literature, especially the old and classical works on this theme of apparently extremely well-mannered people among the upper classes like the nobility and priesthood who routinely wear a mask of grace and employ a tongue of velvet to impress their respondents and audiences with their angelic qualities while inside they are snarling like hungry wolves or lustful rapists. Schools such upper classes attend are normally outside the options of humbler classes and these schools train them as much in pretended good manners as in academia. No wonder graduates of such elitist schools, although making, say 1% of all graduates, end up making up at least 60% of all those attaining a high status in life from ministerial to high management and legal positions. All project an impeccable, very polished manners image to both the media and the public and are only given away by Allah who said “Thus We appointed the great ones in every community from among their criminals in order for them to conspire therein...” (6: 123).
I am afraid I have quoted this verse so many times now that my dear readers may think I am loathing all politicians and for that matter others in a high position. I apologise for this mistake and haste to add that all rules have their exceptions, which statement is an old witticism and also true. Surely we have such near perfect souls who climb the social ladder on his merits thanks to the facts that even the greatest criminals are aware of the fact that to succeed they need also honest and decent colleagues or allies since these help both to produce excellent work on their behalf or in support of theirs and help beautify their image as well thanks to their own beauty being around. Very occasionally these may attain the summit and for a time make the government of the organisation they are heading a much better one both in technical and humanitarian terms. This is in fact exactly how Allah describes the elevation of His prophet Joseph (S) to the rulership of Egypt and there is nothing to prevent similar elevations happening, to the end of time, because Allah explained Joseph’s elevation thus: “Like this We empowered Joseph to exercise authority in the land as he saw fit. We land with our loving mercy whom We will, We do not waste the reward of the well-behaved” (12: 56). Surely more Josephs may arrive every now and then and certainly semi-Josephs are not lacking too much. So, any offended politicians among my readers may take comfort from the possibility that they are or may work towards being Josephs.
We must conclude this chapter however at a more modest level where most of us exist: we must not deceive ourselves and others by making do with good and polished social manners while remaining the same old mischievous foxes or wolves at heart. Good and polished manners short of casting a coldly calculating image are essential for all religious believers and especially Sufis and these manners should be studied by them at length and put into practice. Let us see the more common and essential graces among them:
1.
Be aware of your body language. Try never to look sullenly self-absorbed and unaware of those around you. Wear a smile however slight except in the middle of a tragedy when a facial expression of shared grief is essential. Face your respondents squarely, look them in the eye as long as they like and make them feel that you are sympathetic to them until they begin to behave or talk extraordinarily badly.
2.
Ask about people’s welfare and about their loved ones whenever you meet or contact them after a reasonable time of separation. Don’t go instead to the subject in discussion direct as if falling suddenly from a roof unannounced. This applies to telephone contacts and the like as well. Remember that people like you more when you also like whom they like, especially their near relations.
3.
Be generous but not insincere in noting and praising people for what they are and they did and not too critical for what they are or did. If you have to criticize do it kindly and tactfully and break its bitterness by observing all that are in favour of the one criticised.
4.
Thank people routinely for every favour big or little and never take their favours for granted. In case they offend you it is better to shut up and express your sadness in dignified silence rather than lashing out. This applies to cases when you are criticised or even insulted. If the criticism is justified you should know it and must own up to your wrong and apologise heartily without debasing yourself of course like saying “I am a donkey” etc. Remember, you owe respect to yourself also. In case of insult whether justified or not, a dignified silence is the best response and in case of a justified insult an expression of shame and regret on your part should show. Never defend yourself in a verbal exchange unless some vital interests relating to you or others are at stake. Actually often justice is more essential in many situations affecting more than a few people than absorbing and forgiving unjust criticism or insults.
5.
Be always well-dressed and well-presented as appropriate to the occasion and situation and never slovenly and inadequately in the belief that you are showing humility or otherworldliness. Rasulullah (S) used to put on his best clothes on occasions when diplomatic missions visited him and he treated them to best hospitality available to him. As an extension of this obligation dress, stand, walk and move about the society you live among in ways suggesting you are just another like them, short of imitating mean or extreme specimens like tramps or dandies. Behave like them in all decent and legitimate matters short of falling foul with Islam’s rules for nothing in return.
6.
Be honest, honourable and polite in all your relationships and dealings so that people’s hearts, whatever their own convictions and conventions, warm up to you and they come to like and respect you whatever their own beliefs.
7.
Earn an honest living and never stoop to living on others’ charity including government handouts. Do not covet receiving sadaqa but covet paying sadaqa.
8.
Listen to people attentively even when you are not much amused. If you allow them to empty themselves you will be in a better position to show them better ways without offending them. An unemptied, unburdened heart is not ready for help from you.
9.
Look on everybody with the eye of Divine loving mercy as long as you notice they are enjoying it. If they show savage responses it is better to shut and bag up without uttering a single criticism or reprimand. Never defend yourself in cases where legal rights are not involved. When you don’t Allah takes over and defends you without any sounds and words being issued.
10.
Last but perhaps best, look upon all creatures and all creation, especially all human beings as manifestations of Allah, worthy of all respect and consideration- upfront, until one of them behaves too badly. Then that shall be an indication that you must render a charity to the person concerned, a charity in the form of anything you can possibly do to show him the better way in a way that he will think it is his discovery and not something imposed on him by you. If he still refuses and goes on fuming then apologise and bow out: you can be sure that you planted in him a ‘holy doubt’ which over time may grow into a change of ways for the better. Read if you wish: “He (Allah) is the First and the Last and the Explicit and the Implicit and He knows of everything” (57: 3) which proves that what you see as persons, things and events are special manifestations of Allah’s Will and Testing and Guidance provided you can read the alphabet used. You may also read “Respond to evil with good and you will see that the one between whom and you is hostility shall become as if he is a warm friend. None can be made to attain this level of maturity except who can show patience, no one can be made to attain this except one who has a great share of good to his credit, i.e. one who builds up a great amount of sincere service to Allah” (41: 35). If you do not want to become one of these this Institute of Advanced Practical Sufism is not for you, sorry!
In all these above cases and everywhere else your manners should be as above and if they are so they are not in the same category as pleasant and polished manners many immoral people mask themselves with in the course of their social, political or business dealings.
All in all let all your attitudes and behaviours be informed by Allah and you will become one of His saints for all time to come. Amen.
14. ON WHAT TRUE FREEDOM IS
BACKGROUND
Since the French Revolution “l’egalite- le liberte- le fraternite” (equality- freedom- brotherhood) has been the motto of all French-inspired artificial democracies as distinct from the natural English democracy which evolved slowly since at least the Magna Carta (The Great Charter) declared in 1215. It was based on an ultimatum of the barons to King John I whose arbitrary policies, especially the foreign had brought England to its knees. The second wave of democratisation in England arrived by Cromwell’s revolution which cost England a long and bitter civil war (1642- 1651) and cost king Charles I his head. Since then English democracy slowly evolved and mellowed until today it is arguably the best of its kind in the whole world.
Contrary to the almost always self-assured Western thesis, democracy did not begin in Greece. This is a total misconception: When Greek democracy was evolving so was the Roman and even before these two so was the Meccan! Tradition has it that Mecca was founded by Abraham where he settled his first-born son Ishmael with his mother Hagar; father and son later built the Kaaba and invited all people around to adopt it as their shrine for national religious pilgrimage. The invitation was taken up and over time Ishmael’s offspring coalesced into the Quraish tribe with its very many clans populating Mecca. Now this tribe was not only older than the Greek and Roman tribes each of whom formed a tribal democracy in their respective tribal towns, namely Athens and Rome, but preceded both Athens and Rome in democratic government.
Of course these three democracies were not so in the modern sense; only a minority of the residents in each of the three named capitals were native freeman enjoying democratic rights. The great majority consisted of two grades of excluded residents- the permitted if free foreign residents and the slaves. The last made up the biggest crowd.
Foreign residents were like the foreigners in England and other European countries; they were given indefinite visas to live as well as come and go and that was because their skills like commercial or technical were appreciated and in demand. The slaves for their part more corresponded to the machinery of today: they were fed (given fuel in the form of food) and sheltered just to make the energy as well as some skills input into the economy. A lot were detained for household chores and also sex as necessary while some others had such sterling skills that they were treated better and employed as specialists in various fields from education to engineering to medicine. This was the case in all three antique tribal democratic capitals, namely Mecca, Athens and Rome.
This tribal democracy worked on the following basis. Each tribe sent its chief as their member of the tribal parliament. Whatever their age these tribal chiefs were called the elders for which the corresponding national term was ‘sheikh’ in Mecca, ‘hieros’ (old or holy man) in Greece and Senex (old man) in Latin- hence the words ‘senate’ and ‘senator’. Employing the more famous Latin terms we can say that Mecca, Athens and Rome each were governed by a tribal senate with tribal elders serving as senators. This oligarchic democratic system began to fall apart and be replaced by the imperial as each of the three said nations moved into empire building. The first to do so was the Greeks who, under Alexander, conquered all lands around the Eastern Mediterranian and into South Western Asia up to Afghanistan and Punjab. Romans soon displaced and replaced Greeks in the same capacity and were supreme for several centuries when, with the advent and victories of Islam it was Arab’s turn to repeat the imperial phase at the expense of democracy. This imperial phase of Western history (by West we mean all to the West of Persia) began to wither away in Western Europe when nationalist ideology moved in to modify the imperial: here England was the first to combine nationalism with imperialism with the additional unique feature of some sort of rudimentary national democracy.
From the French Revolution onwards (1789) both nationalism and national democracy became the catchwords of the 19th and the 20th centuries and resulted in a modern democratic Europe as is the case today.
In Muslim’s case we did not have any democracy in the Western sense until recently and that only partially but we always have had our human rights and many other legitimate interests secured under any Islamic government. The status and moral powers of our judges and jurists have been such that normally even the most tyrannical rulers often hesitated to go against their rulings and advice. Even that scourge of God Tamerlane frequently abandoned policies when confronted and criticised by significantly great ulema; from this we can guess how it has been with more humane rulers. For example Ottoman sultans, as the most powerful and successful of all Muslim imperial dynasties never dared to cross ulema and could often rein in their passions when challenged by them. This mostly ensured that the general public were spared the arbitrary torments of their royal rulers and their appointees or in case of persecution it could not last long but relief arrived from on high.
It was not a democracy as we understand it today but all the same, Muslims had their inalienable human rights as prescribed in the Qur’an and the Sunna and also enshrined in the royal legal codes (Qanuns). As a result both sultans and their appointees faced legal proscriptions and could end up paying damages and making amends in all submission and humility. And this exemption from cruelty applied also to non-Muslim subjects as well as foreigners. As an example, it is said that Muhammad Fatih the Conqueror and terminator of the Roman power had employed a Greek architect to build a mosque for him stipulating that its dome should be higher than that of Santa Sophia, the imperial church of the last Roman capital. In the event the Greek failed and his hand was chopped off for that. He applied to the Islamic court and the judge ordering the sultan to show up found him guilty. He ordered him to pay compensation to the architect to both compensate for the loss of a hand and pay for the maintenance of the standards of the architect and his families living expenses. The sultan did not only pay up but apologised to the architect and thanked the incorruptible judge. This very much sounds like the proceedings in the European Court of Human Rights except for the allowances for the time differential.